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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Finally, I find myself so challenged (by the professors and people around me) that I actually study with a break-your-neck attitude. There is always a need to be on top of the work load and not buried underneath. I've never studied as much in my entire life as I did in the last four days. ANd this is the first week of actual classroom discussion.

Sooner or later, I know that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the work load. Already, I can almost feel the readings breathing down my neck. At night I dream of Supreme Court Justices convicting me for not studying.

It's hell, and what do you know, I love it.

The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 6:50 AM

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Saturday, June 17, 2006

Okay, I don't want to complain but really... what did I get myself into?
In the words of my friend, I have become what I hated the most--a stuck up. I usually don't study but with the thought of dozens of cases hanging over my head, I just can't help but. It is getting rather tiresome, to say the least, going to the library every now and now (no mistake about that) to get piles of readings that in another school and course, I most likely would not read.
The truth is, I enjoy what I am reading. I am actually learning something practical. Another truth is that none of the rather few things I learned in college is ostensibly useful. None of Kant's ethics or of phenomenological philosophies. The only things I find useful now are those of William James (Pragmatism) but that is only because, as I have repeatedly said in the last few years, I am a firm believer of pragmatism.
The thing about liking law school is that it is a huge leap from what I am used to. I am a slacker. The only times I were actually seated, doing some form of learning is in the classroom and in front of the computer at the end or in the middle of the semester. The only exceptions are those of Creative Writing classes which are, like law school, taxing (no complaints here).
Whether it is a welcome change for me is debatable. Now, I actually go to the library to study. I can sit still for five hours straight just reading and writing notes. I am adjusting to the habits that law school students have. My only wish is that I can assure myself that I will not be grade conscious, lest I earn the spite of my other classmates. I also hope that I will not become so stuck up that I would not be able to talk to my old friends anymore.
At best, I can promise myself that I am still in this for the romanticized dreams of becoming a public servant (something my parents hope to erase from my system).
At worst, I am going to speak english as often as possible, which would be irritating otherwise.

The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 3:55 PM

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Thursday, June 01, 2006

The day before my birthday, I set out to buy myself a gift. I took out P3,000 and looked for a Audio/MP3 CD player. SO I found a cheap generic brand one from germany which did not only have an Audio/MP3 CD but also a Memory stick and Memory card drive. So I set it up in my room and left it on overnight just to see if it can withstand abuse. Turns out, it didn't. Maybe it was because the thing was generic that the CD reader stopped reading. I was a little depressed afterwards because i so rarely buy myself a gift. SO I returned it the following day and yesterday, which was my birthday, I got a refund.

Yesterday morning, my mom woke me up early because she was going to leave early and she wanted to greet me before she left. So I was a little out of sorts when I got down. I got an envelope which I thought had money inside. Instead, it had a receipt and a warranty thing-a-ma-jig inside. Then, my sister Malou told me to go to my other sister's room.It was a lame bit, I know. It really didn't work well as a surprise. Anyway, inside my sister's room was a huge box.

So, after I had to return my stupid CD player, I now have a Audio/MP3 CD Player, DVD Player, Cassette Player in my room. For a gift to myself, I am now looking for a television set.

Groovy.

In other news, my uncle who is surprisingly arrogant, accusses us of starving Lola to death and not taking care of her. I bet it was a last ditch effort to save himself from apologizing but he also warned that he will sue us for that and that he is gathering medical records. Sure... like that would hold in court. First of all, Lola chooses not to eat a lot of times before because she was afraid he blood sugar would shoot up. Second of all, she loves it here. She enjoys her time with us and she would have died earlier had it not been for the fun she has been having here. Third of all, HE almost killed Lola because he refused to believe my mom's diagnosis (congestion) and chose to believe his friend's diagnosis (pneumonia). Of course lola believed him and, two weeks later, Lola had to be rushed to the hospital again.

I cannot believe such a thing still happens in our family, 2 months before Lola turns 80. My Uncles' arrogance is so saddening. He's rich, he's educated and yet he never learned to swallow his pride. Hay.

The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 4:10 PM

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I am the lonely joker who stares too deeply and too much.