 |
Archives August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
Bell came up the podium to introduce me and said, "her philosophy in life is, 'Mabuhay Ka.'" Believe you me, I did not think that they would actually say that but they did and so I scrapped whatever little I had in mind and jumped off from that philosophy.
I remember saying I believed in only two things in life. One is to live life, and the other is to not hurt people. I can't remember much of what I said but the gist of it was that I want to see the youth enjoy their freedom and be able to be rowdy and carefree at one point in their lives with the expectation that they will grow out of it and be able to accept the responsibilities society has in store for them.
In the concept paper of Kapitas, the youth was defined as rowdy, uncaring and basically unrefined. I said, "well I used to be all of that."
In high school, I had the guts to literally run through the halls of my high school and scream at the top of my lungs." I made two teachers cry, made one jump onto a chair, made one storm out of a forum on vandalized encyclopedias, practically insulted all teachers in the same forum, played hide and seek at night in the sports complex, stole three bottles of 1.5 liter coke during the fair, cut classes, went to the clinic to skip classes and so much more. I'm not saying all the things I did were right but in the end, all that mattered was that I was able to own up to the things I did, pick myself up or pull myself down (depending on what you think of me) and take a big step towards my big dreams.
I am sure a lot of our politicians and lawyers were nerds in their youth but look at them now. THey are wreaking havoc whereever they are placed. Miriam Defensor-Santiago, GMA, Mike Defensor, Bunye, Raul Gonzales--all of them. I am not saying I won't turn out like them. Maybe I would. The point is though, so much of our lives are in our control and most of the time, one need not have a precise defining moment before they turn around from a rowdy to a prim and proper youth. I did not have that moment. I still am as rowdy as I can possibly be. The only difference is that now, I hurt less people and I want to help more.
My teacher once asked me if I regretted not getting honors in High School. To answer her question, I asked her if she regretted not being able to enjoy high school as much as I did.
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie you've got to rise above.
posted by The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 8:32 AM
0 Comments:
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
The Israel-Lebanon conflict will not hold itself in logic. It seems as though Israel has forgotten its cause by going into an all-out war with Lebanon.On the morning of July 12 of this year, the military arm of the political Party Hezbollah which aims to protect southern lebanon fro m Israeli occupation, killed three and abducted two soldiers. The operation was used by the lebanese military faction in order to demand for the freedom of palestinian and lebanese citizens captured by Israeli.
Israel Prime Minister has declared an all out war that is, in his own words, "very painful and so sweeping."
So sweeping it is, as even their own brains seemed to have been swept away.
The question begging to be asked is: "what are they protecting?" The answer, it would seem is, Nothing Theys seem to be protecting nothing but their pride as they allow the Hezbollah to kill even their innocent citizens. On the otherhand, Israel has fired indiscriminately, even deliberately killing 60 citizens, including children.
In the newspapers, I saw a picture of a four-year old girl looking straight into my eyes, as though begging for help. I couldn't help her. No one can. She died yesterday in the hospital, and with all the hustle and bustle going on with the war, no one even bothered to close her eyes.
War is such a sad thing especially since Israel has felt the anguish and pain caused by indiscriminate warfare during the World War II. It is even sadder if you look at the men in war, all of them look so much alike. The dead children in Israel look so much like the dead girl in the picture. Afraid and hopeless, waiting for the next rocket to be fired, wondering if this time, it will hit them and then it will all be over.
posted by The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 6:21 PM
The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 6:21 PM0 Comments:
Monday, July 10, 2006
Recovering from a class lecture, where my eardrums were pushed to its maximum capability, is nearly impossible. Tonight I would much rather sit in front of the computer and wallow in despair. It was not that I did not expect it. The guy was a known terror professor. Its just that I am not used to it and no amount of orientation would ever help me or anyone for that matter, prepare for a lecture of the sort.I do not want to go into a detailed account of what happened. Suffice it to say that the 3 hours of exceedingly hostile lecture made me ask myself why I even bother. I'm a humanist. I live life to live life. It's corny, I known, and overly romanticized but the reason I decided to go into law was because I wanted to work with farmers in the province. I know that I would do them a disservice if I do not work hard in law school. What kind of help will I be if I am not prepared to face the rigors of practicing law?
Its just that as a humanist, I want to do things that will make me happy. This is not it.
The four years I would have to spend in preparation is like a big wall. I cannot see what lies behind it. I can only hazard a guess, which, I have to admit, is a dream that I built myself. What if after I break the wall or push past it, there was really nothing behind it? What if it was nothing but a dream? Nothing like ally mcbeal or ED?
The next four years would be nothing but infinite depression.
I've gone through one month of it.
Am I ready to go through more?
posted by The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 2:34 AM
The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 2:34 AM0 Comments:
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
The Lonely Joker's Doing it AgainSo I was at Star Bucks this morning. I had a cup of coffee because it was raining. I love the new Peaberry blend.
Anyway, there was a bunch of Ateneo Freshies at the couch area, which was about a meter away from my table (all the better to eaves drop on you my dear).
Girl 1 (Short, mestiza, maarte, smokes): Like dude, you have smokes?
Girl 2 (Chinita, fair skinned, long hair with bangs): Na-uh. Let's go buy some smokes.
So they go buy smokes, and then smoked. Mind you, when they smoke, they do the "hithit-buga" method for the fake smokers. Anyway, when they got back...
Girl 3 (Morena, tall, slim, pony-tailed hair): My god. i can't believe you rode the train.
Girl 1: Like I know. That was a big first for me. Like dude, one time there was like a... blah blah blah...
So anyway, the girls went out to fake-smoke again and two guys replaced them on the couch. The other guy was short, sort of chinese looking. The other looked like a cute version of Sean Penn. So Sean Penn waved at girl 1 who in turn went into Star Bucks to talk to Sean Penn.
Girl 1: Whoa! (with a salute) You're in UP! Dude, that's like great!
Sean Penn: Nyeh... blah blah blah.
So they talked for a while and when the girl left, the chinese guy started talking.
Chinese guy: Do you like that girl?
Sean Penn: Hindi noh! Nakita mo ba kung gano kaarte?
Yeah. Rakenrol.
posted by The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 8:39 AM
The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 8:39 AM0 Comments: