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For this reason alone, I want to refuse to write anymore, if I must write for other people.
It does not help that there are but a few people who would appreciate my writing.
I was afraid in the beginning that my editors would be ruthless.
They have not been. Not even close.
If anything, they have been accomodating. However, I think I have not grown in my writing. I think, I have only changed.
I used to write freely.
I do not like the thought of writing assessments on things I care nothing for.
I am supposed to write about the Subic Rape Case.
It is a topic I feel strongly for. The thing, however, is that no one cares for what I feel. People care for detailed and well-drawn out analysis. Something that I can do but do without cause.
I do not care for the details of the case. I care for the countless women who have been oppressed by stronger men. I care for our country, who for fear of expressing sovereignty by refusing help from the americans, loses its sovereignty all together.
No well-drawn out analysis can express why I, like many other Filipinos feel strongly for this case. Feelings cannot be supported by statistics.
Right now I am supposed to be in front of my lap top writing.
I can't.
At least not for tonight.
posted by The Lonely Joker who stares too deeply & too much at 2:48 AM
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